▶ Better To Have Gone For It Than Not

Some say risk nothing, try only for the sure thing,
Others say nothing gambled nothing gained,
Go all out for your dream.
Life can be lived either way but for me,
I’d rather try and fail than never try at all, you see.

—– William F. O’Brien

One evening, I was walking down the road when I saw a note on a restaurant’s door that says, “Better to have gone for it than not.”

It’s a sentiment I’ve heard many times in various forms throughout my life.

I thought about all the decisions and risks I have taken which as some of my dearest friends and partners in mischievousness mite tell you, are quite a few.

I also thought about the opportunities, openings, and chances I’ve ignored and regretted having done so, and those are the ones that stick with me and continue to arise at various levels of my conscious thoughts year after year.

Overcome the Fear

Fear is one major obstacle that prevents us from achieving our goals and dreams. As a teenager, I had many worries.

I remember during high school there was a significant period where my most predominant daily feelings were fear and insecurity, an ever-present sickly, scared feeling in my stomach.  

Go for it, don’t let criticisms stop you.

Generally, children don’t bother about criticisms, we’re told. Now true, think of a child that is learning how to walk for the first time, he would fall at the first attempt, and someone around might laugh at him. But what does the child do after that? He gets up and tries again until he masters the act.

It seems many children at that age are fearless and get up over and over and keep trying until they master the task.

The feeling as though the people around me and who meant the most to me were the ones holding me back or keeping me ‘in my place’ is one that has been with me literally since I can remember.

The general sentiment in my home was achieving your dream outside of any parameter they set for you was impossible.

Always I listen to my voice inside, demanding not to listen to them and dare dream and achieve those dreams if it was in my stars.

Motivate Yourself

The best words of motivation are not merely the ones you hear from top motivational speakers alone. But of those words the ones that sink in. And you find a way to make them relevant to your experience.

I’ve always tried to speak positivity into existence, as well as a path I felt was genuinely for me.

For example, near the end of my first activity period in the military, when I wanted to buy a house in California,

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become a logistics analyst and own Pugs I honestly had NO IDEA when I declared these circumstances how I would manifest them.

What I dared to do was live a band do whatever it took to accomplish the necessary steps to bring my dreams into reality.

I wholeheartedly believe in taking a leap (of faith) and figuring this out on the way down, with one caveat…. “Trying to immerse myself as much of the essential information as possible right before I leap.”

Take the baby steps

When you want to start a project, there will be many uncertainties. You shouldn’t wait until you have figured out everything before taking the first step.

Just make all the necessary plans, back up plans, and start with what you have. While the project is ongoing, there will be room for adjustments and improvements. 

I wholeheartedly believe in taking a leap (of faith) and figuring it out on the way down, with one caveat…. Better To Have Gone For It Than Not

Trying to immerse me in the essential information to the highest degree possible.  

I can attest to having purchased probably no fewer than 30 ‘For Dummies’ and “Idiots Guides’ to various topics while was in route to gather data, gaining speed and taking those leaps (Motorcycle, Boating, Computers, Excel, Word, Travel, Religion,..etc. Are a few examples).

I have learned moving forward in life WILL NOT be without trial, error, often doubt and sometimes confusion.

But the end state should always be an improvement in some measurable and objective way.  I don’t succeed in everything I do, no one does, but not giving up is vital in most of our pursuits.

Don’t give up

Have you ever felt like all your efforts aren’t paying off?

Ask any truly successful person to share their story, and you will discover that they often had to try over and over before realizing any type of success or return.

However, they kept moving forward until they reached their destination.

I love the scene in Rocky’ where Rocky Balboa is talking to son and part of his monologue he says. “life is not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” 

The words are truth, beauty, and music to my ears.

Don’t just give your endeavors your best; provide them all it takes. 

Another quote I often reflect on, “Difference between the Master and the beginner is the Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” 

“In pursuit of your dreams, don’t be afraid to fail, don’t be afraid to get hit and when you do, pick yourself up and keep moving.”

My mother used to lovely, I guess and consistently poke fun at that regardless of the outcomes of endeavor I undertook. that trying, over and over and over something she’d never doubt from me.

What if you failed?

The area in my life where I regret most taking chances was in approaching women and, to a lesser degree, even building platonic relationships and bonds…

I clearly remember many times when I’d swear there was a pregnant pause before my taking actions to speak, caress, kiss, or approach a woman usually in an ideal intimate or private scenario. Often gripped by fear, insecurity, and doubt I failed to step into the moment which looking back, and I am sure I was poised to create various acquaintances and romantic interests. I backed away, punked out, and sidestepped what could have been magical moments.  

I am not carrying torches, but those memories and experiences burn brightly. Now I understand and genuinely believe when you go for something, take chances but fail. You still find a degree of internal satisfaction that you gave your best, and most of all, growth.

Maybe those moments were not meant to be, but I’ve embraced the belief that ‘Going for it’ is better than living your life with the guilt of not trying at all.  “Pain is temporary, Pride is forever” as our most honored Navy Seals say. 

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I know this is a collective experience, and I am only sharing my part here… Better To Have Gone For It Than Not

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